Fallon Friday: Top 10 Reasons Not to Microwave the Cat
March 20, 2009I’m bored. I’m stuck in Adelaide. Daytime TV sucks and I can’t hear myself think because of the race cars whizzing around the track 50 metres away
I’m pretty sure my head will soon explode.
Behold, the inevitable and frightening result of Fallon being bored…
Top 10 Reasons Not to Microwave the Cat
1. It’s messy
2. You’ll probably get arrested
3. It’ll undoubtedly void your warranty
4. Fur is really hard to get out of those filters on the roof of the oven
5. Despite popular belief, cat really isn’t the other, other white meat
6. Unless you tranquilize it first, your cat is likely express his displeasure at being stuffed in a microwave oven by opening a running wound from your eyebrow to your navel, as you’re shoving him inside
7. Pussy might get dizzy on the turntable (actually this one is hilarious and will probably appear on my Top 10 Reasons You Should Microwave The Cat list)
8. It’s really hard to find a good red that goes with Tabby
9. It can be awkward explaining to the kids why Mr Tickles isn’t coming home anymore
10. It just wrong… I mean everyone knows you steam small furry animals…
Contrary to this post, Jennifer Fallon does in fact love animals, I promise. Her daughter is a vet and she has 4 animals, all of which are rescue animals and one of which was a little kitten with 2 broken legs that was so malnourished it’s bones were folding under their own weight. Kitten now all better and spoiled rotten. Oh yes, and she’s also a very famous and bestselling author of at thirteen novels published by Voyager (on the side, when not bored). Thankfully, if you have a Jennifer Fallon at hand, you’ll never even have to consider the above list, as you won’t be bored. Visit Jennifer on Twitter.
Re: #2 -especially if cat turns out to be a reincarnation of the legendary Felix.
cheers
Tim